Real Mom: Emmy Blakely on Adoption

“I’m wife to my high school sweetheart Nathan and mom to three… but my life doesn’t look like I expected it to when Nathan and I got married. We wanted a big family… four kids was our plan. Our son Beau was born just two months after our second wedding anniversary. And then when he turned one we started trying for baby number two. But a few months in we still weren’t pregnant. And then after six months I started to worry. I asked my doctor to prescribe Clomid in hopes that it would be the answer. It wasn’t. A few more months went by. We decided to see a fertility specialist. Three rounds of insemination, three IVF’s, two surgeries, and 6 years later we still weren’t pregnant and my tubes were gone. We decided that the Lord was closing the door on us growing our family and we moved on. 

Then one day a friend that had 15 children {4 bios and 11 adopted} offered to help us pay for an adoption. In the end we paid for our adoption with the help of some major fundraising and a big loan, but without her prompting we never would have started the process. In March of 2011, almost exactly seven years after starting to try for number two, we brought our daughter Penelope home from Utah. And this past November we welcomed baby number three, Georgia into our family through another adoption. 

Had we known what an incredible blessing adoption would turn out to be, we wouldn’t have wasted so much time on fertility treatments. But it is part of our story, it refined us and strengthened us, and it positioned us to become passionate adoption advocates. We now run an annual conference called Choose Joy: Surviving Infertility & Adoption and we love mentoring other couples through the process.”


What was the most challenging part of the adoption process for you?
Gosh, there are many tough parts of adoption. I say all the time, adoption is not for the faint of heart. For me,  there were two things that challenged me the most: writing a letter to potential birthmoms for our family profile, and the waiting. The letter stretched me… how do you ask someone to give you their baby??? How do you tell them about all the opportunities you can offer their child without sounding like spoiled Southern Californians?  How do you make them fall in love with you in just a few paragraphs? It took me six months to write the letter for our first adoption. The waiting though… the waiting is so hard. It feels like you are constantly waiting. Waiting for your home study to be completed, waiting for your agency to start presenting you to birthmoms, waiting for a birthmom to choose your family, waiting for her to give birth, waiting for her to sign the papers… waiting, waiting, waiting. And unlike with a pregnancy, you have no idea how long your “gestation” will be. It’s tough. 

How did you afford an adoption after spending so much money on fertility treatments?
Miraculously! Honestly, we didn’t think adoption was an option for us after spending about $60k on fertility treatments, but God provided every penny. We did A LOT of fundraising… I have kind of become known as the Queen of fundraising on Instagram. For Georgia’s adoption we raised almost $20k in just two months!  I always say though, do not let money be the thing that keeps you from adopting. People like to help. You’ll be amazed at how generous people can be. Also, we took loans out for both of our adoptions. For the first one we took out a personal loan from our credit union, for the second one we borrowed against my husband’s 401k. Taking out a loan for an adoption scares a lot of people, but most people wouldn’t think twice about taking out a car loan.  A baby will last a lot longer than a car!

How long was the adoption process? 
Our adoptions were quicker than most. We use Heart & Soul Adoptions in Utah and they move fast!  Penelope’s adoption took 9 months, but that was because I spent six months trying to write that ding dang letter to the birthmom. Georgia’s adoption took three months and one week from start to finish, including the home study. 

What advice would you give another couple just starting the adoption process?  
It’s not as hard as it seems. Just take one baby step at a time. When you begin the process, it feels overwhelming. The to-do list is a mile long and the paperwork is never ending. But it’s easier than you think it will be. It’s just a matter of staying organized and not putting too much pressure on yourself. 

Would you do it again?
If I didn’t have to raise the children, I would adopt 100 times over. It is an amazing, incredible, exciting experience. And even though there is often heartbreak involved, even the difficult moments are worth it in the end. If we were five years younger we would do it again for sure, but we are pretty sure that our family is now complete. Now we will just enjoy helping other families along on their adoption journeys!